[expletive]

Well, what a [expletive] wonderful day. Yeah, that's right. [expletive].

Okay, I'm not the [expletive] girl, but I'm in a [expletive] mood. So here's what I'm gonna do. Instead of using the actual [expletive] words, and in order to spare you the [expletive] business, we're going to do this post Mad Libs^TM style. Have fun!

Troy [snack food] Glaus is probably done for [length of time], and if you think I'm being a(n) [adjective] alarmist, take [number] second(s) to get your [part of body] out of your [different part of body] and think about all the [processed lunch meat] we've been force-fed over the last few years about [adjective] injuries from the [adjective] [farm animal] [noun ending with -ers].

Oh, and Carp [past tense verb] his [adjective] [part of body] while he was [adverb] jogging. So, [exclamation]. Who the [warm place] was letting him jog?!

The only thing that kept this [adjective] day from being a total [bodily fluid] wash (what with all the [adjective] news and not being able to [verb] any [adjective] [team sport], and the [dessert ending with -ie] Cardinals [verb ending with -ing] anyway), was hearing about Duncan's [superhero] homerun against [fictional villain] and the [plural item of clothing].

Got all that?

Don't forget to post your humorous results in the comments section so we can all enjoy them.